Title: You are a Bada**: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life
Author: Jen Sincero
Why I Read This Book
In April I read my first self-help book, The Gifts of Imperfection (click here to read).. I immediately fell in love. I told everyone I knew about how life-changing this book was for me. This book provided many tidbits of advice that began to help knock down walls for me in my life.
Only a few days after finishing this book, I was strolling down the aisles of Walmart shopping. As I walked past the (very small) book aisle, I saw an awesomely bright book basically screaming for me to pick it up. That is how I discovered You are Bada**. I remember seeing it as a recommended book I should read on Amazon based on prior purchases. Call it woo-woo, I don’t care.
I saw it as a sign.
Well…I was right. What a bada** book it was to read.
Who should read this book?
Raise your hand if you relate to any of the following:
- You are having a lot of negative self talk regularly
- You think you are average and have limiting beliefs about your abilities
- You constantly make excuses to start things & rarely ever go through with them
- You are stuck in a rut & feel like you are reliving Groundhogs Day
- You self-sabotage on the reg & don’t know how to stop
- You have a hard time believing in the unseen & unknown
- You are bad with money & don’t think you will ever have an abundance
- You don’t have confidence about living your life through your authentic self
- You feel judged by others & act off of their perceptions (real or not) of you
- You are scared to change & don’t know where to start
- You are looking for more self-confidence
- You have many worries and fears about the future
- You are having a hard time letting go of the past
- You wish you loved yourself more
- You want to be a bada**
You are a Bada** is written in an in-your-face tell-it-like-it-is kind of way. Which I love. I doubt that everyone is into this type of writing. So, this book may not be for you! I could definitely see some people finding her way of writing borderline annoying or offensive.
But, to me, that is what makes her amazing.
Jen Sincero does not seem to care about that. She has confidence oozing from her soul. It is clear by the words that she uses. She did not write this book for the uptight girl who is easily offended by the way someone looks at them. Or, this might be good for a person like that because maybe it can help break them out of their shell.
Well, whatever the case… she curses. She gives examples that will mostly likely make you think, “Holy crap. She knows me. This is weird. How does she know all of this?” Or… maybe not. It all depends how open you allow yourself to be while you read this book.
It is meant to be read as if you are having a serious chat with your best friend. There are really no rules. She is not afraid to hurt your feelings or make you feel like you’ve been doing life wrong. Jen wants you to pick apart your world, change your ways, and make sense of your choices and ways of living.
Because… really, isn’t that the point of all this self helpery?
You are a Bada** Breakdown
Jen’s book is broken down into 5 parts & 27 chapters.
Each chapter is about 5-10 pages long, which I love. It makes the book easy to digest. Gives you time to reflect. And, believe me… you will need that time.
I actually recommend reading this at the same time as someone you’re close with, like your bestie. You will have A LOT to chat about.
I am going to give you a brief summary of each section, as well as my favorite pieces of advice that she throws at you.
Part 1: HOW YOU GOT THIS WAY
This part is going to have you uncover your beliefs. Her goal is for you to locate the beliefs that are self-limiting. Beliefs that are holding you back from revealing your true self to others. Usually, these beliefs come from the ones who raised us.
She teaches you that your beliefs and values you are taught are ALLOWED to change… even drastically. You don’t have to think in the ways like you were taught as a child.
Now, this section is not saying all parents are bad parents. Yet, it is explaining that you are allowed to disagree as an adult, you are allowed to evolve, and you are allowed to break off into your own person.
The point she tries to drive is that it is NOT your fault if you are taught to be the way you are, limiting beliefs and all. But, it IS your fault if you choose to do nothing about it.
She talks about a higher power. No, this is NOT a religious book. She refers to this “woo-woo” power as The Universe, touching on the law of attraction a bit (heck yes!). You can replace this with God or whatever force you connect with in your life.
Jen wants to teach you that believing in the unseen can open doors for you mentally and physically. Also, she characterizes our egos as “The Big Snooze,” explaining that this is what stops us from living a truly happy life.
“Most people are living an illusion based on someone else’s beliefs” (Sincero 21).
“The Universe will match whatever vibration you put out. And you can’t fool The Universe” (Sincero 32).
“When we get so wrapped up in our heads, we miss out on what’s available to us right now in the moment” (Sincero 39).
“We live in a fear-based society that loves to get all uppity toward people who wake up from the Big Snooze, blast out of their comfort zones, and follow their hearts into the great unknown” (Sincero 43).
“It’s just as easy to believe we’re awesome as it is to believe we are giant sucking things” (Sincero 49).
Part 2: HOW TO EMBRACE YOUR INNER BADA**
This part is about accepting who you are at the core. Now what you choose to show people. But, really getting to know how truly unique and special you are. She encourages you to fall in love with self-affirmations and instructs you to do things you love. Not just the things on your to-do list. Or things you feel obligated to complete.
She emphasized that you are NOT selfish if you want to take care of yourself. Just… happier!
Also, Jen explains the negatives of constantly looking to compare yourself to others. It’s a crappy habit. You need to learn to let go of what others think about you and live for yourself.
That means living outside of your comfort zone. Not just once a year, but once every day. Basically, what other people think is their own perception. You cannot control that, so let it freaking go!
You will explore the importance of trusting your gut and finding positive people to model this off of in your life. Through this, you will find your purpose. What you actually are made to do that you succeed at in order to share this gift for the world to see.
“Imagine what our world would be like if everyone loved themselves so much that they weren’t threatened by other people’s opinions” (Sincero 54).
“Nobody who ever accomplished anything big or new or worth raising a celebratory fist in the air did it from their comfort zone” (Sincero 65).
“What other people think about you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them” (Sincero 67).
“No matter how clueless you might feel right now, pay attention to suggestions and opportunities that suddenly present themselves” (Sincero 75).
“When you find your calling and you design your life in such a way that you can share your gifts with the world on a constant basis, you feel like a rock star” (Sincero 72).
Part 3: HOW TO TAP INTO THE MOTHERLODE
This part got a littttttle too “woo-woo” for me, but I know a lot of people like this stuff. So, it’s all good.
I have never been one to connect with meditating, probably because I can’t quite quiet my mind. She breaks down the fact that meditating doesn’t have to be where you sit in silence with your legs crossed thinking about nothing. Basically, the point is to connect to the “Source Energy,” which will calm you.
She then goes on to talk about our brains. That, I understand. She explains that we create what we see in the world and our own lives. That our realities are formed by the thoughts we have each day.
You must focus on the positive thoughts you collect and not drown yourself in all of the negative. Your life will become what you choose to focus on.
I loved how she focused on what we can give, too. Jen wants you to understand the power in serving others. Sending out good so you can attract that back in your life. Spreading joy and kindness. Simple message, but many of us lose focus of that on a daily basis.
This includes forgiveness, which is a big pill to swallow. She explains that forgiving is a way for you to let go of the past and live a more fulfilling life of happiness for yourself.
“[I]t’s through our thoughts that we create our realities” (Sincero 93).
“You’ve got to get a handle on your thoughts if you want to change your life” (Sincero 97).
“If you want to attract good things and feelings into your life, send awesomeness out to everyone around you” (Sincero 111).
“Trade in your drama about how you can’t have what you want for the grateful expectation that miracles will walk into your life, and the more commonplace those miracles will become” (Sincero 118-119).
“Forgiving isn’t about being nice to them, it’s about being nice to yourself’” (Sincero 119).
Part 4: HOW TO GET OVER YOUR B.S. ALREADY
I loved part 4. Jen discusses the importance of choosing what you want. Letting go of things that do not serve you in your life. Consciously CHOOSING the reality you want to live.
She stresses that you need to be careful of what your “stories” are each day. Basically, truths we decide to live by. You need to make a choice to rid of stories that bring you down and don’t serve the life you wish to lead.
Procrastination is also covered. Who doesn’t need some advice on that? She tackles fears that we have when it comes to getting what we want. The importance of going through with tasks and actually finishing them instead of giving up the second something gets difficult.
With that, she also dives into overwhelm. How we take on so much in our lives with fear that if we don’t take the tasks on that the world will somehow explode. Jen believes we create so much chaos and drama that really does not need to exist, directly causing overwhelm.
She gives you tricks to break down tasks and boldly tells you to stop parading around saying how “busy” you are all the time. Cool, no one cares.
She finishes this part up with a discussion about fears and our perceptions of others. These two chapters, to me, were incredible. She tackles how fear is a waste and often keeps us up during the night. Then, you wake up too tired to even deal with it the next day. It is a waste.
Also (and this one was hard to digest), what we think about others has to do with how we feel about ourselves. Read this chapter. Very, very interesting.
“All you have to do is make the choice to let go of everything you’re so attached to that’s not serving you and manifest the reality that you want” (Sincero 138).
“Because so often when we say we’re unqualified for something, what we’re really saying is that we’re too scared to try it, not that we can’t do it” (Sincero 151).
“If you’re serious about changing your life, you’ll find a way. If you’re not, you’ll find an excuse” (Sincero 153).
“Decide you live an awesome, relaxed life full of interesting projects that you love doing and communicate that to the world and yourself. And then go out and merrily do it” (Sincero 161).
“The things that bother us about other people bother us because they remind us of something that we don’t like about ourselves” (Sincero 178).
Part 5: HOW TO KICK SOME *SS
This last part is where the action happens. Jen wants you to make a decision about what you want. Starting with telling you how you often give up too easily when things get slightly uncomfortable.
She will inspire you to choose your goals and make a pact to actually stick with them, instead of skipping out when you get a little taste of failure. Failure needs to happen for you to grow and to become anything successful.
She discusses how making decisions is also a skill. That people who do great things with their life learn to make quick and informative decisions on a schedule. After you made the decision, you have to BELIEVE in what you are doing. Constantly taking steps forward, no matter how tiny.
Then, she tackles money. A difficult subject to discuss (which I cannot WAIT to read about in her next book). An important key is hanging out with the right people.
Basically, if you hang around negative, lazy, money-hating, past-living people… guess what you will become?? Ta-da!!
She ends the book with inspiring you to set high goals. Figure out what your beliefs are. Get clear on how you want to live your life.
And… most importantly… love your bada** self.
“So often, we pretend we’ve made a decision, when what we’ve really done is signed up to try it until it gets too uncomfortable” (Sincero 192).
“A common trait of successful people is that they make decisions quickly and change them slowly” (Sincero 197).
“[D]rop the limiting belief that you serve the world better by not taking too much for yourself or by getting too big. Your playing small simply withholds your gifts from the people who were meant to receive them, including you” (Sincero 209).
“Your life is your party. You get to choose how you invite people and experiences and things into it” (Sincero 227).
“You are a badass” (Sincero 224).
What are your thoughts on You are a Bada**?